How Long Does It Take a Child to Settle Into Daycare?

Around four weeks. A study that measured stress hormones in 113 toddlers across their first month of childcare found a consistent shape: an easy start while parents were still present, a demanding stretch once separation began, and settling for most children by about four weeks. By three months, cortisol had returned to a low level and staff rated wellbeing as high.¹ That’s an average across a group rather than a deadline — some children settle in days, and children under 14 months may take longer.² The most useful thing the research offers isn’t the number, it’s the shape: if week two is worse than week one, that is the expected pattern rather than a sign the placement is wrong.

The short answer: about four weeks

What makes this study useful is that it measured two different things and they agreed. The hormone data and the adults’ observations told the same story, which is not always the case in research on young children.

Four weeks is an average. Your child may take ten days or eight weeks. The value of the figure is that it gives you something to hold in week two, which is where most families start to doubt the decision.

Week one: easier than you expect

Many children have a surprisingly good first week, and parents often report being caught off guard by how much harder week two is.

There are two reasons. Most settings run the first days with a parent present or partly present, which is the adaptation phase in the research — and in that phase, cortisol stayed low.^1,3 And novelty carries a child a long way. A new room with new toys is interesting before it is demanding.

What to expect: curiosity, some clinging, a child who may be tired but not distressed. If your setting offers a phased start, take it. It mirrors what the research describes as the easy part, and it gives your child a chance to learn the room before learning the separation.

Weeks two and three: the hard part

This is where it gets difficult, and where most families conclude something has gone wrong.

Once parents stop accompanying their child, stress hormone levels rise — peaking during the separation phase of the day.^1,2 The novelty has worn off, the routine is now a demand rather than an adventure, and the child has worked out that this is happening every day.

What to expect: harder drop-offs than week one, tiredness, shorter fuses at home, possibly disrupted sleep or appetite, and a child who may be visibly relieved at pickup.

What this is not: a sign the setting is wrong, a sign your child isn’t ready, or a sign you’ve made a mistake. It is the middle of a curve that the research describes as normal and that resolves for most children.¹

What helps: consistency more than anything. The same goodbye, the same arrival time, the same person doing drop-off where possible. A child working out a new routine does better with fewer variables in it.

Week four onward

Most children settle here.¹ Drop-off may still involve protest — protest and distress are not the same thing — but the child engages after you leave, comes home less depleted, and sleeps more normally.

What to expect: a drop-off that looks similar but recovers faster, a child who tells you about their day, less fatigue at home.

A note on drop-off tears that continue: a child can be fully settled and still cry at the door. The question isn’t whether they cry, it’s what happens in the ten minutes afterward.

Three months in

By three months, cortisol in the study group had returned to a low level and wellbeing was rated high.¹ For most families this is the point where childcare stops being a project.

One caveat worth knowing: in a separate study, children’s stress levels five months after starting were lower than during the separation phase but still above their home baseline.³ Childcare is a busy, stimulating environment, and a somewhat higher baseline while in it isn’t evidence of harm — but it does help explain why a child can be settled and still come home tired.

Why your child falls apart at home and not at daycare

This is the finding parents find most useful.

In the study, children in the demanding phase showed fatigue primarily at home.¹ Staff reported children who were coping; parents reported children who were falling apart at five o’clock.

Both were right. A child in a new setting is working — managing noise, unfamiliar adults, group routines, and the ongoing effort of being away from you. That effort is invisible while they’re doing it and very visible once they stop. Home is where it’s safe to stop.

What this means practically: don’t read the evening as a verdict on the day. Ask staff how the afternoon went before concluding anything from the car ride, and build in a low-demand first twenty minutes after pickup.

Does a phased start help?

The research points that way, in two ways.

Visiting before the first day is offered by the study’s authors as a likely reason cortisol was low on the second day, since most families in the sample had visited several times beforehand.¹ They present it as a probable explanation rather than a tested finding, and it is worth reading that way.

Starting with a parent present is the adaptation phase in the research, and cortisol stayed low during it — particularly for securely attached children.³ The phase where a parent is available appears to do real work.

What if it’s been longer than a month?

Some children take longer, and taking longer is not the same as not settling. But six to eight weeks with no change at all is worth a conversation.

Ask yourself whether anything else has changed — a new sibling, a house move, a sleep disruption. Settling takes more capacity than a child has when several things are new at once.

When to seek advice: if distress is spreading to settings that were previously fine, if your child is losing skills they had, or if reluctance is becoming refusal.

Does age change the timeline?

Somewhat. Children under 14 months showed higher afternoon and evening stress hormone levels, including after four to six weeks in childcare.² Younger children may take longer and may show it differently — more through sleep and feeding than through protest at the door.

This is not an argument against childcare for younger babies. It is an argument for expecting a different shape, asking for a slower phased start, and giving more weight to the evening.

Sources

1. Drugli MB, Nystad K, Lydersen S, Brenne AS. Do toddlers’ levels of cortisol and the perceptions of parents and professional caregivers tell the same story about transition from home to childcare? A mixed method study. Frontiers in Psychology. 2023;14:1165788. Saliva from 113 toddlers across the first month and at three months, with notes from 87 parents and 101 caregivers. An easy start with parents present, a demanding first weeks of separation, cortisol back to a low level by three months with wellbeing rated high, and tiredness reported mainly at home in the evenings. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1165788 (PMID 37333593)
2. Nystad K, Drugli MB, Lydersen S, Lekhal R, Buøen ES. Toddlers’ stress during transition to childcare. European Early Childhood Education Research Journal. 2021;29(2):157–182. Linear mixed models on 119 toddlers across time of day and transition phase. Cortisol was elevated in the afternoon throughout, peaking in the separation phase and declining toward evening; children younger than 14 months showed higher evening and afternoon levels even after four to six weeks. doi:10.1080/1350293X.2021.1895269
3. Ahnert L, Gunnar MR, Lamb ME, Barthel M. Transition to child care: associations with infant–mother attachment, infant negative emotion, and cortisol elevations. Child Development. 2004;75(3):639–650. Seventy 15-month-olds. Cortisol rose over the hour after mothers left to levels 75–100% above home; securely attached infants had markedly lower cortisol during the adaptation phase, while the parent was present. doi:10.1111/j.1467-8624.2004.00698.x (PMID 15144478)

Medical disclaimer. This page is for general educational purposes and does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.