Mood Swings in Neurodivergent Kids: What Helps

Key Takeaways

Teaching children how to describe their feelings and handle them appropriately can help keep mood swings from becoming disruptive in their lives; children who understand emotions well tend to have fewer behavior problems, though the link is modest.⁠¹
Neurodivergent children sometimes struggle to speak about their emotions, either because they are feeling so intensely that they do not know where to start, or because identifying and describing feelings is hard for them; about half of autistic people have this difficulty, called alexithymia.⁠²
Giving children access to an emotion chart with 30 or more emotions can help them better identify and describe what they are feeling.
If a child copes with mood swings through behaviors like biting their lips or scratching their head or body, parents should address it and seek professional help if necessary; a professional can help work out a safer alternative, such as a chewy for biting.
Managing mood swings is an ongoing process that involves self-care, identifying triggers, seeking support, and practicing mindfulness.

Teaching children how to describe their feelings and handle them appropriately is important to help prevent mood swings from becoming disruptive in their lives. Encouraging children to express themselves openly and teaching them healthy coping strategies can also benefit their emotional well-being. Children who understand emotions well tend to get along better with others and have fewer behavior problems, though the link is modest.⁠¹

Feelings Can Be Overwhelming

Sometimes a feeling is more overwhelming than a person’s ability to speak, which is why sometimes neurodivergent people have a hard time speaking; they’re feeling so intensely that they don’t know where to start to describe how they’re feeling. For some, identifying and describing their own feelings is hard in itself: about half of autistic people have alexithymia, compared with about 1 in 20 people who are not autistic.⁠² For example, there can be different levels of frustration and sadness that can be experienced as intense feelings, so it’s important to teach children how to identify and express their emotions accurately.

Giving neurodivergent children access to a more diverse emotional chart with 30 + emotions to consider can help the child to better describe their emotions. Here are a couple charts (click the images for direct links) that can help children and adults figure out which emotion they are feeling:

Charts Can Help Widen a Child’s Range of Emtions

Charts such as there can also help to understand that it is normal to experience a wide range of emotions and that it is okay to seek assistance in managing them. Overall, teaching children about their emotions and providing them with tools to cope can support their mental health and well-being as they grow and navigate through life.⁠¹

If parents notice that a child is biting the lips, scratching the head or other parts of the body as a way to cope with mood swings, it is important to address this behavior and seek professional help if necessary. These types of coping mechanisms can have harmful consequences, and a professional can help work out a safer alternative; for biting, that may be a chewy such as these (click on the images for direct links to the products):

Managing Mood Swings

Managing mood swings involves self-care, identifying triggers, seeking support, and practicing mindfulness. This is an ongoing process.

Additionally, modeling healthy ways of managing emotions can be helpful for children to learn from.⁠³ Hobbies and activities that promote relaxation and self-care can be enjoyed together as a family, creating a positive and supportive environment for children to learn about emotional management. A balance board such as these ones (click on the images for direct links) can help a child to do an activity while processing their emotions.

Taking a family bike ride or skateboard outing, cooking a healthy meal together, or practicing gratitude and mindfulness exercises as a family are all examples of activities that can promote emotional well-being. Regular physical activity lowers children’s risk of depression, and gratitude and mindfulness practices have small benefits for well-being in studies.⁠^4,5,6

Practicing Mindfulness

Managing mood swings is essential for individuals of all ages in order to maintain a sense of balance and overall well-being. Additionally, practicing mindfulness can also help individuals manage mood swings. This involves being present in the moment and observing thoughts and feelings without judgment. By acknowledging and accepting one’s emotions without reacting impulsively, individuals can learn to regulate their mood more effectively. In randomized trials with children and teens, mindfulness programs have eased depression, anxiety and stress, though the effects are mostly small.⁠⁶

Frequently Asked Questions

What does managing mood swings actually involve?

Managing mood swings involves self-care, identifying triggers, seeking support, and practicing mindfulness, and it is an ongoing process. Modeling healthy ways of managing emotions also helps children learn.⁠³

How can I help my child describe their emotions better?

Giving children access to a more diverse emotion chart with 30 or more emotions to consider can help them better describe what they are feeling. These charts also help children understand that it is normal to experience a wide range of emotions and okay to seek help managing them.

How can our family support a child's emotional well-being together?

Hobbies and relaxation activities can be enjoyed together to create a positive, supportive environment. Examples include taking a family bike ride or skateboard outing, cooking a healthy meal together, and practicing gratitude and mindfulness exercises as a family.

Why does my neurodivergent child struggle to talk about their feelings?

Sometimes a feeling is more overwhelming than a person's ability to speak. Neurodivergent children may feel emotions so intensely that they do not know where to start describing how they feel. For some, identifying and describing their own feelings is hard in itself: about half of autistic people have alexithymia, compared with about 1 in 20 people who are not autistic.⁠²

What should I do if my child bites their lips or scratches themselves to cope?

If you notice a child biting their lips, scratching their head, or other parts of the body to cope with mood swings, it is important to address this behavior and seek professional help if necessary. These coping mechanisms can have harmful consequences, and a professional can help work out a safer alternative, such as a chewy for a biting habit.

Sources

Trentacosta CJ, Fine SE. Emotion knowledge, social competence, and behavior problems in childhood and adolescence: a meta-analytic review. Social Development. 2010;19(1):1–29. doi:10.1111/j.1467-9507.2009.00543.x (PMID 21072259). Emotion knowledge showed “small to medium-sized relations” with social competence and with fewer internalizing and externalizing problems: “relatively consistent yet modest relations.”
Kinnaird E, Stewart C, Tchanturia K. Investigating alexithymia in autism: a systematic review and meta-analysis. European Psychiatry. 2019;55:80–89. doi:10.1016/j.eurpsy.2018.09.004 (PMID 30399531). Alexithymia, measured as difficulty identifying and describing feelings, was found in 49.93% of autistic participants compared with 4.89% of non-autistic participants: “common, rather than universal.”
Morris AS, Silk JS, Steinberg L, Myers SS, Robinson LR. The role of the family context in the development of emotion regulation. Social Development. 2007;16(2):361–388. doi:10.1111/j.1467-9507.2007.00389.x (PMID 19756175). Reviews how families shape emotion regulation: “children learn about ER through observational learning, modeling and social referencing.”
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Health Benefits of Physical Activity for Children. Lists among the benefits of regular physical activity for children that it “Reduces risk of depression.” Checked October 6, 2026.
Choi H, Cha Y, McCullough ME, Coles NA, Oishi S. A meta-analysis of the effectiveness of gratitude interventions on well-being across cultures. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America. 2025;122(28):e2425193122. doi:10.1073/pnas.2425193122 (PMID 40627390). Across 145 papers and 24,804 participants, gratitude interventions “led to small overall increases in well-being.”
Dunning DL, Griffiths K, Kuyken W, et al. Research review: the effects of mindfulness-based interventions on cognition and mental health in children and adolescents – a meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry. 2019;60(3):244–258. doi:10.1111/jcpp.12980 (PMID 30345511).
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Across 33 randomized trials with 3,666 children and adolescents, mindfulness programs improved depression, anxiety and stress, and negative behaviors, with small effect sizes; against active comparison activities, the benefits held for depression and anxiety or stress.

Medical disclaimer. This page is for general educational purposes and does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider about your child.

Managing Emotions and Mood Swings in Neurodivergent Kids